I remember my college film class, sitting alone in darkness, critiquing dozens of movies with my light stylus pen.
I remember sitting in darkness for seventy-two hours straight watching a celebration of fifty years of Academy Award winners for Best Picture.
I remember sitting in a dark theater watching twenty-four hours of classic animated shorts.
I remember a thousand films and hundreds of movie theaters where I sat alone in the front row with my boxes of Chocolate Malted Milk Balls.
I don’t feel alone when I commune with the film gods who have given me a voice and shared a vision. I was happy.
Movies have always helped me to see the light, when I was alone. Movies became a feast of visual friends that spoke to me in a new and private language. I have utilized that intimate language into a companionship with all of my camera apparatus.
I have become like a gyroscope spinning atop cresting mid-ocean waves rhythmically tracking the lives of others across continents with my camera. It often seems like cinematic euphoria.
During my portrait years I had photographed hundreds of the collective Hollywood/Los Angeles cultural cognoscenti. My cars and motorcycles carried me from Malibu to Pasadena and surprising stops in between. Every sojourn through the hundreds of cities my camera has seen offered me the opportunity to see more than was intended. I felt like Joan Didion and John Gregory Dunne taking their weekend Los Angeles discovery drives.
One of my great mornings that turned into an afternoon delight was spent with the brilliant movie director Billy Wilder. We spent our session never once speaking about his movies. He shared stories about art collecting passions. He shared stories about introducing the likes of Kirk Douglas and more to the art of collecting.
After a few hours into the afternoon we shared a beer and a few sandwiches. We stood in front of a collection of Giacometti, Kirchner, Picasso and more. I felt I was part of a travel adventure into the art collecting world equivalent of Tolkien’s Hobbit. His intimate narratives were about worlds that are long gone. His compelling stories left me breathless and passionate for more stories, more art.
My Eyes On Fire: I Met Hollywood Gentle Magicians
The Hollywood experience that set me afire was a call from a Los Angeles magazine. They asked me if I could/would photograph five contemporary cinematographers; Robby Müller, Robert Richardson, Frederick Elmes, Barry Sonnenfeld and Jan Kiesser.
I never speak for my subjects; for me the challenging experiences were life changing. It is difficult to just be yourself when you are trying to impress the film makers who would collectively influence thirty-years and more of movie making. These are cinematographers who have worked with/for Wim Wenders, Tarantino, Ang Lee, David Lynch, Coen Brothers, Oliver Stone, Scorsese and many more.
This was a dream assignment. They were visual geniuses. I was a rookie against Michael Jordan. It was as if I sat across from the chess Grand Master Garry Kasparov, (which I have done) overmatched.
For four days I danced around them with my cameras. It was a class in technique. They saw my moves coming at them. They sensed my lighting. They knew what my lenses would expose. I fought to surprise them. I challenged everything I knew to find an opening, to make a difference. I felt I needed to impress them. I never felt I accomplished my goal. But.
I listened foremost. I knew they wanted me to succeed. Surprisingly each film man had advice. They had stories about successful failures, and magical surprises in their own work. Sometimes it felt like their mental telepathy was quietly whispering a plan. I listened. Filmdom’s camera men were intentionally or not enlightening my vision. All I had to do was make an interesting photo. Ha!
The epiphany that spoke to me years later, was that I had a great masters class into the art of seeing. Embrace it.
A magical sparkling of stardust was shared by better Merlins than I will ever be.